Couples Therapy
Do You And Your Significant Other Feel Like You’re Just Roommates?
Has your relationship or marriage hit a wall? Does it seem like the emotional connection you and your spouse had is gone? Do you wish you could go back to the beginning when you first fell in love?
Maybe roommate syndrome has come over your marriage. You and your significant other feel like you’re just going through the motions together—you still love each other, but you’re not deeply in love. Or perhaps your relationship is full of conflict. Every conversation turns into an argument, and it feels like you’re walking on eggshells with each other.
Once The Infatuation Stage Ended, Your Relationship May Have Become Stale
At the beginning of your relationship, all the passion and connection may have felt natural and effortless. You may have planned a lot of exciting dates and gone out of your way to try and woo each other. But once the ooey-gooey, mushy-gushy phase ended, your relationship may have become stale and complicated. Perhaps it seems one-sided—you keep putting in so much work, but your significant other doesn’t. Over time, you may feel alone or unimportant, like they don’t value you.
If you want to feel like you did at the beginning of your relationship, I encourage you to connect with me. As a licensed marriage and couples therapist, I provide Biblically-based counseling for couples who want to increase their intimacy, solve communication issues, and deepen their love for each other.
Many Couples Drift Apart Because They Get Caught Up In Other Obligations
Everyone wants to feel safe, loved, and cherished in their relationship. A lot of couples feel this way during the early stages of their relationship, since everything is fresh and new and they’re head-over-heels in love. But as time goes on, many couples get busy with other obligations. School, work, finances, children, and other responsibilities can end up taking away from the time they spend together.
Oftentimes, couples simply don’t talk through all the important issues before they tie the knot. Many of them don’t figure out how they’ll split finances, what kind of parenting style they’ll use, or whose family they’ll spend Christmas with. As a result, they may find themselves unprepared when disagreements arise.
This is why counseling is so important. It gives couples a chance to have conversations that they didn’t have when they were younger. Between your commitment and my support, I believe that I can help you strengthen your relationship for years to come.
Couples Therapy Can Help You And Your Spouse Rekindle Your Emotional Connection
Marriage is about having a servant’s heart. It’s about going above and beyond for someone else even when you don’t feel like it. In therapy, I want to help you turn back the clock to when you and your significant other wanted to serve each other and look at what you can do to recapture that desire. When I do this with couples, it usually benefits their relationship tremendously—sometimes they find themselves competing to see who can out-serve the other!
Above all, couples therapy with me is a chance to express your hurts and desires and rekindle your emotional connection. I want to help you and your loved one slow down, process the hang-ups in your relationship, and understand each other better. And because I am a Christian counselor, I am always happy to incorporate faith with psychology in my work with couples.
What To Expect In Couples Therapy Sessions
In the beginning, I will meet with you and your significant other individually for two 45-minute sessions before we begin meeting all together for 90-minute sessions. These individual sessions give you a chance to think out loud and get everything off your chest. At the same time, they are not an opportunity to form an alliance. My role is helping both of you do your part to make things better, not taking sides.
In order to do couples counseling, I require a commitment of the first four sessions being weekly. This allows us to have a solid foundation for nurturing your relationship. After that, we can move to every other week if it’s financially necessary. I’m flexible to your needs and I’ll do whatever is best for your finances.
My Approach To The Healing Process
Therapy looks different for every couple, since every couple is unique. At the same time, the main approach I use in all my work with couples is EFT, which stands for Emotionally-Focused Therapy. EFT is all about creating emotional safety and connection in your relationship. It can help you and your spouse learn to communicate your feelings rather than pointing fingers or playing the blame-game.
It’s so, so easy to focus on the other person instead of yourself during conflict. EFT can help you challenge this tendency. You can learn to say “I have a problem. I hope you can help with it,” instead of saying your spouse is at fault. This can do wonders for your communication as a couple.
In the end, my ultimate goal is to help you understand what is needed to repair your relationship. When you pinpoint your relationship’s weak spots, it becomes so much easier to heal and grow as a couple. That said, counseling is not a quick fix. But as long as you and your loved one are patient and willing to take baby steps toward achieving your goals, I really, truly believe you can have the relationship you’ve always wanted.
You May Have Some Questions About Couples Therapy…
What if my spouse doesn’t want to come to therapy with me?
You can still do individual relationship counseling with me! After all, it is still possible for you to grow personally and shift the situation until your significant other is willing to come. I can’t make them come with you, but I would be glad to talk with them about why they don’t think therapy is necessary.
I’ve had an affair. Will you keep my secret?
Secrets can only harm relationships, so therapy works best if you and your spouse are both fully transparent with each other. However, I’m also not going to spill all your secrets for you. Instead, I will do my best to help you reveal your situation to your loved one. Ultimately, we can’t come to a safe place in your relationship if there are secrets involved.
What if we both want a divorce?
If you decide to go your separate ways, we can explore how you can do so while still supporting your family. At the same time, I want to help both of you walk away with a clear conscience. This means reassuring you that you did your best to restore and nurture your relationship.
You Don’t Have To Feel Like Roommates Anymore
If you and your significant other want to figure out why you’ve drifted apart so you can heal your relationship and fall back in love, I encourage you to pursue marriage and couples therapy with me. To get started, you can use the contact page or call to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation.
