Healing From The Past When There Was Family Trauma
When we talk about the past, we often treat it as if it’s written in stone. Whether we look back full of regret or nostalgia, we tend to treat our history as some far-off place we can’t touch or interact with. Contrary to that belief, the past is always with us. It’s part of the math of who we are. There’s a direct line that leads from where we started to where we are today. Trauma is often thought of as a kind of invisible spider web that has us tangled like a fly. Events and emotions of the past cling to the present, making a muddy mess of the future.
It’s especially difficult when this web has us tangled up in our family history. Our earliest memories are tied up with our family dynamic. Those memories form the foundation of how we see not just the world, but also ourselves. They determine how we function in romantic and platonic relationships.
Getting Started
Our family traumas persist through our current behaviors. Past betrayals can make it hard for us to trust and rely on others. If you come from a background of family trauma, you may struggle with low self-esteem. You might feel broken, guilty, or ashamed. Why do you think you might feel that way? Were you given the love and security children need? Can you look back at that child-version of yourself, whatever they endured, and give it now?
Here are some questions to help you get started on exploring your family trauma:
What situations trigger problematic behaviors or feelings in you?
How do those triggers relate to your family history?
As a child, what coping mechanisms did you use to survive? Often, we self-medicate during hard times by overeating, playing video games, or abusing alcohol or drugs. Sometimes we engage in promiscuous behaviors as a way to make ourselves feel better.
Did you feel safe or secure as a child? What sort of things did you worry about?
If you could go back in time and raise yourself, what would you have done differently?
Build a Relationship With Yourself
One way to start healing the past is to engage with it on a daily basis. Get in touch with your inner child by doing things you would have loved as a kid. Give yourself room to make mistakes, explore new hobbies, and approach the world with curiosity.
Start challenging some of the negative beliefs you may be holding onto about yourself. Are they lies Satan wants you to believe to hold you back? What does the word of God say about you? This is where we find the truth to transform.
Effective Therapies
Moving on from the past and healing those old wounds is easier said than done. Sometimes those wounds are written into our flesh. We often think of trauma as a matter of ‘letting go’ but the reality is far more complex. Trauma impacts the development and function of the brain. It changes the way we produce hormones and the way we see the world.
There are several types of different therapies that are particularly effective in healing those wounds. Brainspotting, for example, takes advantage of the link between bilateral stimulation and movements of the eye to help people recall, reinterpret, and heal from traumatic memories.
Another type of therapy that can be effective is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Sometimes referred to as talk therapy, CBT is a type of guided conversation that helps people challenge negative thoughts and behavior patterns. It’s also a tools-focused form of therapy, with an emphasis on helping clients learn to manage those thoughts in healthy ways.
Schedule a Consultation
Please reach out if you’re struggling with your day-to-day life because of the family trauma you’re carrying with you. It’s time for you to put that weight down and free yourself from the past. I would love to talk with you about what you’re struggling with and be a part of your healing journey through trauma therapy.