Emotional Trauma And Ways To Cope With It Around The Holidays

Pop culture teaches us that the holidays are a time to cut loose and celebrate. We carry around a lot of ideas about what holidays should look like. Decorations on the lawn. Holiday favorites playing on the radio while we’re out running errands. When we think of the holidays, we often think of spending time with family and friends around the table for a feast.

For people dealing with emotional trauma, however, the holidays bring a host of challenges, dangers, and stresses. Emotional trauma is complex. It leaves a legacy of long-term effects including anxiety, mood swings, and irritability. Being around old friends and family can be a fantastic way to kick back and celebrate—but it can also bring up difficult emotions, kickstart conquered addictions, and trigger depression.

It’s important to know that there are good ways to cope with your emotional trauma as you navigate the holidays.

Know Your Triggers

One of the most important things you can do is to take a minute and prepare yourself by making a list of your triggers. Maybe you’re worried that someone is going to drink too much and bring up an unpleasant memory. Or maybe somebody always finds a way to bring up your weight. Perhaps you’ve got a cousin or an old friend who bullied you when you were younger.

Before you head into the holidays, think about the following questions:

  • Who am I worried about seeing?

  • Where am I worried about going?

  • What am I worried about talking about?

  • What bad habits am I worried I might slip back into?

  • Who, or what, makes me feel unsafe or unwelcome?

After you’ve taken a minute to think about these and other questions, it’s time to think about how and when those situations might come up.

red candle surrounded by pine cones and holly

Set Boundaries

Once you have a good sense of your triggers, it’s time to start thinking about what kind of boundaries you need to set to keep yourself healthy and emotionally secure over the holidays. This means planning ahead. Make a schedule and stick to it. If you’re traveling, consider booking yourself a hotel room instead of staying with family. That way, you'll have a place to retreat to.

So set your boundaries and communicate them!

A lack of safety often triggers emotional trauma. Setting boundaries and getting a healthy escape plan is a good way to give yourself a greater sense of comfort.

Seek Support

Get some support! That might mean touching base with a therapist before you head home for the holidays to go over your plans, or it could mean calling ahead to talk with a family member or a trusted friend about your concerns. If you dread a particular holiday party, consider asking them to tag along to provide some backup! Make plans to see them after so you can decompress with someone you feel safe with.

Be Kind to Yourself

Just like we have ideas about how the holidays should look, we have ideas about how they should feel. That means there’s a lot of pressure, internally and externally, to put on a smile and be your cheeriest, happiest self, even if you’re not feeling it.

Remember that you have a responsibility to take care of yourself. That means keeping yourself out of dangerous situations, avoiding people who are harmful, and giving yourself permission to be with your hurt.

Learn More Ways to Cope

Let me know if you’re struggling with emotional trauma and could use some help making a plan! One of the things I love best about my work is connecting with my clients and helping them on their journey. I would love to talk with you about your concerns about the upcoming holiday season and help organize your thoughts! Contact me soon so I can help you feel safe with trauma therapy.

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