Everyone experiences grief at some point in life. While most of us associate it with the loss of a loved one, grief can be triggered by any type of loss. That includes things like a divorce, losing a job, or even moving out of a long-time home. 

While there are stages of grief to work through, you might find that some days are easier than others. Sometimes, it can seem like you’re rounding the corner and moving forward. The next day, you might feel like you can barely get out of bed. 

Why does that happen? Why does grief come in waves, making it so difficult to move on? Let’s dive a little deeper so you can better understand why these waves of grief can feel so intense. 

It’s Too Much to Process

No matter what might cause your grief, it’s undoubtedly a life-altering event. If you lose someone you love, it might’ve happened suddenly. Or, you might find yourself wondering what you’ll do now. If you lose your job, you’ll probably be scared about things like paying bills and supporting your family. 

Grief is often initially shocking. So, you might not feel the pain from it immediately simply because your brain can’t process all of it at once. However, as reality starts to sink in, so does the pain. 

It’s an Adjustment

Once you have finally processed the reality of what’s happened, another wave can wash over you as you realize you have to figure out how to adjust your life so you can move forward. 

Losing a spouse, for example, means you’ll have new responsibilities to take on. Maybe they paid the bills or mowed the lawn. Those might seem like small things, on the surface. But, they are things you’ll have to adjust to doing now that they’re gone. 

Every time you have to make even the smallest adjustments because of a loss, grief can rear its ugly head, causing you to remember that loss and the pain that comes with it. 

The Stages Are Not Linear

Most people are aware of the stages of grief. But, we’re often led to believe that we have to work through those stages in linear steps and there’s no going back. 

That simply isn’t the case. Grief is too messy and complicated to think that you won’t have moments of backtracking. You might be angry one day and depressed the next. That kind of rocking back and forth of your emotions is enough to take a toll on your mental health and physical well-being. 

You might also start to feel guilty if you aren’t working through the stages step-by-step. That kind of guilt and shame can create even more unnecessary pain. 

You Can’t Escape the Triggers

Walking by your deceased loved one’s favorite pizza place. Seeing your dog’s collar hanging on the coat rack a year after they were put down. Digging through your closet to find an old work shirt from a job you loved and lost. 

All of these are examples of grief triggers. They’re everywhere, and nearly impossible to escape. The second you experience a grief trigger, a wave of sadness can come over you, reminding you of what you’ve lost. 

What Can You Do? 

The grief experience is different for everyone. There’s no ideal timeline for getting through it, as long as you try to keep moving forward. But, if you find that you’re taking one step forward and two steps back more often than not, consider reaching out for help. 

Grief counseling is a great way to learn to manage your grief in healthy, effective ways. Even when it continues to come in waves, therapy can help you fight back and continue to process and work through your emotions with the support you deserve. Reach out, we can walk through it together.