Corrie Keener

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Coping With Betrayal Trauma After Learning About Your Partner’s Sexual Addiction.

Finding out your partner has been unfaithful in any way can feel like a punch to the stomach. You might feel sick, overwhelmed, hurt, angry, and many other emotions threatening to pull you up and down on a rollercoaster 24/7. 

When you dig deeper and find out their betrayal is because of sex addiction, you might add confusion and fear to those emotions. Sexual addiction can manifest itself in a variety of ways, including an obsession with pornography or a need to engage in sexual activities almost constantly. 

Needless to say, the actions those with sexual addictions often wreak havoc on a relationship. They can cause you to feel completely betrayed and alone. Dealing with betrayal trauma isn’t easy, and it’s not something you should have to deal with on your own. 

So, what can you do to cope? How can you move forward and take care of yourself after learning about your partner’s sexual addiction? 

Educate Yourself

If your partner admits to having a sexual addiction, do what you can to educate yourself on what that really means. This type of addiction can take several forms, so don’t hesitate to ask your partner how they struggle and what they do to cope with the addiction. 

It’s not easy. It can be extremely difficult and exhausting to learn about your partner’s addiction. Learn about addiction recovery and setting boundaries.

Don’t Isolate

One of the worst things you can do to cope with betrayal trauma is to keep yourself away from the people who love and support you. It can be tempting to crawl into bed and forget about the world around you. But, isolating yourself will only fuel feelings of anxiety and depression. When you’re alone with your thoughts, you’re not going to be able to navigate this crisis in healthy, effective ways.

Practice Self-Care

Perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself right away is to prioritize your well-being. Get plenty of sleep, try to stay physically active, and eat a healthy diet. Taking care of yourself physically can help you work through the emotional turmoil you’re going through. 

Additionally, mental self-care is important. Things like journaling, praying, and worshiping the Lord can all help you focus on the present and become more in tune with your feelings. They can serve as small steps to process your trauma and work through it little by little.

Seek the Help You Deserve

Speaking of focusing on your mental care, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional to help you work through this experience.  Therapy is confidential and great place to ask questions.

Betrayal trauma can cause you to feel guilty or ashamed of yourself. It can lead to depression and make it difficult to regulate your emotions. You don’t deserve to deal with the effects of betrayal trauma on your own because of your partner’s addiction. 

By working with a therapist, you can acknowledge your trauma and learn how to open up about it. You can determine your needs and what you want to do as you move forward. A therapist will help you navigate the waters of betrayal trauma so you don’t fall into some of the common symptoms that could negatively impact your life. 

You might also benefit from joining a group dedicated to betrayal trauma survivors. Sometimes, knowing that others have gone through similar situations can make a big difference in how hopeful you are. 

Finally, encourage your partner to get help. Sexual addiction is very real and can cause lasting harm to everyone involved. Suggesting that your partner talks to someone about their addiction might be the first step they need to take to overcome it. 

Feel free to reach out when you are ready to learn more about betrayal trauma therapy can help.